A-NICHE-71

Obituary

Obituary

John Robert Stockton, the nucleus of an expansive family and a paragon of community service, passed away on November 22, 2020. His loving, attentive life ended in a peaceful nap, when complications from Parkinson’s disease released his soul to join the great majority.

John was born on October 9, 1952 to John Sr and Irene in Woodland, California. He had an older sister, Sharon, and was joined a few years later by younger sister Beth. By then, the family had resettled downstate in Shafter, where his father did agricultural research and his mother taught kindergarten. When John was nine, his father died in a hiking accident. His already-advanced emotional maturity blossomed in the wake of this tragedy as he helped fill the void and care for his sisters and mother. In the years to come, John’s capacity for caring would define both his personal and professional life.

John attended Shafter High School, where he played sports, edited the newspaper, and was popular among his classmates. During summers, he earned money picking cotton and sorting potatoes. After graduating in 1970, he briefly attended Cal State University Long Beach before transferring to Humboldt State University, where he received his undergraduate degree in History along with a teaching credential. He quickly soured on teaching, though, and moved home to begin what would become a long career in public service.

John’s first job was with the Kern County Welfare Department. He then took a job with Kern Regional Center as a service coordinator for the Wasco Association for the Developmentally Disabled, which at the time was a small nonprofit serving just a few dozen local clients. He became WADD’s CEO in 1989, and over the next few decades nurtured the organization until it grew to serve hundreds of people across Kern County. In 1998, the organization changed its name to Community Support Options, and John moved CSO into new, large headquarters on Poso Avenue.

Under his leadership, CSO opened four group living facilities to provide those in need of their services a high quality of life and greater independence. He also made sure every client was able to earn a paycheck, no matter their level of function, through job placement programs. His love of public service drove him to pursue a Master’s Degree in Social Work from Cal State University Bakersfield, which he received in 2010. John could be a demanding boss, but his perfectionism was always in service of uplifting the underdog. Widely seen as a father figure in the organization, he knew all his employees and clients by more than just name. He asked about their interests, cared about their families, supported them through sadness, and spread happiness with his humor.

John’s greatest joy was his family. He married Janet Bongberg, a high school crush, in 1986. John adopted Janet’s two sons from her previous marriage, and the couple added to the family with a daughter. John became a widower in 2006, when Janet succumbed to breast cancer. The family was riven, but did not break. Instead, it grew when several years later John found love with his work crush, Melissa Hicks. They married, and as before John adopted her children as his own. The couple forged the misfit collection of half- and step-siblings into a proverbial Brady Bunch. Those children have since blessed John with nearly a dozen grandkids, each of whom developed a unique bond with their Baba.

Outside of work and family, John was a man of many interests and an active member of the Shafter and Wasco communities. He participated in Kiwanis, attended church at United Methodist, and for many years made his bathroom available to the judges of the annual Shafter Band Review.

John’s sense of humor could be dry as the Kern River in July. He loved subjecting his friends and loved ones to puns, entendres, sarcastic jibes, and expertly veiled dirty jokes. He was equally fond of lighthearted pranks, such as pulling a tape measure from his pocket to tease the employees at Subway for cheating him out of a quarter inch on his sandwich.

You could find John in the garden most afternoons, pulling weeds, planting flowers, trimming back bushes, and repairing the damage wrought by dogs and grandchildren. On warm days he swam laps, and occasionally he’d paddle around in the pool in his kayak, practicing for his periodic battles against the Rincon riptide.

Always a faithful husband, John nonetheless had a lifelong love affair with the Sierra Nevada mountains. In his twenties, he would take week-long treks through the wilderness, often accompanied by his sisters and friends. As he got older, he introduced his children and grandchildren to these special places.

John loved family get-togethers, and hosted raucous holiday reunions. On the Fourth of July, he would recite the Declaration of Independence from memory; On Thanksgiving, he would preside over colorful debates; On Christmas, he would dazzle everyone with his Santa-themed ties (which his sons will no doubt fight over). His personal style wasn’t limited to the holidays: John was a dapper dresser year-round, and would even iron between the cursive on his Dodgers T-shirts to keep his team’s logo free from wrinkles.

John loved to read, especially about U.S. history, and never formed an opinion without rigorous research. His brain was a magnet for trivia, and he kept a 7 o’clock date with Alex Trebek most weeknights. He enjoyed music, too, especially Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, Merle Haggard, Broadway tunes, and Christmas carols.

He had a quiet faith, which was informed by observing those in need, and expressed in acts of service.

John is survived by his wife Melissa, who made him laugh like no one else and saved his life more times than anyone can count; mother-in-law Joyce Cash, with whom he shared a muted and mutual affection; sisters Sharon and Beth, who were his best friends; children Gabe, Nick, Jill, Kourtney, Ashley, Matthew, and Dylan; grandchildren Caden, Brady, Aidan, Wyatt, Addison, Wade, Weslynn, Addalyn, Mason, Landon, and Nolan, who all inherited seeds of his emotional depth; nephew Michael Fisk and nieces Sarah and Julie Remus.

In the afterlife, he joins his parents John and Irene; first wife Janet and her parents Robert and Lucille Bongberg; father-in-law Jim Cash; and niece Erica Bongberg. John’s remains will be interred during a ceremony at the Shafter Memorial Park on Monday, November 30 at 2:00 pm. Peter’s Funeral Home will livestream the event for those who cannot attend in person.